Wednesday, May 26, 2010Dealing With Terrible Twos

Every parent knows about dealing with terrible twos. It’s the beginning of the parenting problems you may have, since that first year is somewhat less eventful and more filled with “Oh, my baby is so precious!” sentiments, although most babies do go through the putting everything in their mouths syndrome during year one, even dog food.

Every year in your child’s development will have some parenting problems. Knowing about them ahead of time will allow you to relax a bit, knowing it’s fairly common or normal. And then you can develop ways to live with what is normal. Here are some common behaviors of the terrible twos.

*Saying “No” to everything; refusing to do what is asked

*Hitting

*Potty training woes

*Tantrums

What should you do when these behaviors occur in your child? It depends. If only one parent is triggered, the other parent should deal with the child. If both parents are triggered, they should develop a plan between them. If the behavior is “normal” for the child’s age, he will most likely outgrow it and the parents can ignore it. If you simply cannot ignore it, you’ll need a method of disciplining your child.

Developing a method for discipline is important between the parents. Some techniques work for a while and then become ineffective. The child needs to know what the standards are for the family he was born into. Those standards are his boundaries, and knowing the boundaries creates comfort and stability inside the child, whether he likes the boundaries or not. The Hopi Indians discipline their children by saying “That is not the Hopi way.”

Don’t feel guilty for needing a vacation from your acting-out children. Hire a trustworthy babysitter and take the evening off. It’s amazing how all the trauma drains away when you return to a sweetly-smiling, sleeping child who has behaved, amazingly, perfectly well for the babysitter.

Your children need consistency from you. Once you and your spouse have developed a plan, be consistent in implementing it. This is both for your good and the good of your children. Parents who are not consistent really don’t help the child. Giving in to the child teaches him you are a softy, you don’t uphold your own standards and that he can manipulate you. Your child will do his best to push the limits. Being consistent helps stem the tide of misbehavior.

Dealing with terrible twos is only one of the many parenting problems you will encounter on that wonderful road of raising children. Your two year old can also be affectionate, full of energy and enthusiastic.