Sunday, Aug 1, 2010Parenting Children – Using Life Experiences

When we began parenting children, we took into that experience all of our previous life experiences. If you were taught to be afraid of thunderstorms as a child and were taught to crawl under the kitchen table, as silly as this may sound to you now, you might have taught your children the same tactic.  It’s our first gut response that pops out when challenged.  And then our ability to reason steps in with an alternative.

There is an automatic response system set up inside of us that determines how we will react to stimuli.  This system is completely dependent on our life experiences. I remember a scene from the movie “Anne Franck” which I saw as a young child.  The horror of Anne’s existence affected me deeply and there is never a time when I hear the klaxon of a European Police Car that I don’t flash back in fear to that movie.  That’s my first reaction.  My reasoning ability then takes over and I remind myself that I am not in 1944 war-torn Europe.

When we became adults, we frequently found ourselves comparing our responses to our friends or co-workers, and sometimes we put ourselves down for our own, most natural reactions because they are different from others. They did not experience your life, nor did you experience theirs.  I believe the American Indians were most wise when they said “Walk a mile in my shoes.” Only by living your experience can any other begin to fathom what motivates you. Each of us is a wonderful individual and each of our stories is a tribute to that individuality. It is wise to honor the you that you have become.

Now that we are parenting children, we can teach our children the lessons we have learned.  It is okay to have our own responses.  There may be alternative behaviors that will work just as well.  No everyone who comments on our reactions has the complete story as we do, and we don’t have the complete story about others and why they react the way they do.  We can learn to take a view that is longer than just off the edge of our own noses!

We’ve all read that eyewitness testimony in legal matters cannot always be substantiated.  Why? Because everyone sees out of their own life experiences.  Watching television drama shows each of us how eyewitness testifying is jaded by the experiences of the individual.  Each of your young children will see an event differently as well.  There is great beauty in this individuality and it should be both honored and discussed. It’s perfectly acceptable for your child to react the way he does.  It’s completely acceptable for him to feel the way he does. Don’t question your child’s legitimacy in his reaction to an event. Each of our reactions – and there’s an unlimited potential for the quantity of different reactions – tells us and others who we are, someone to be respected.

If you use your own life experiences when parenting children, you will be enriching their lives in ways only YOU can do.

Title:   Parenting Children – Using Life Experiences

Description: Use your own life experiences when parenting children. You will be honoring yourself as well as your children.

Keywords: parenting children, life experiences,

Category:  Children

August Box:  F

When we began parenting children, we took into that experience all of our previous life experiences. If you were taught to be afraid of thunderstorms as a child and were taught to crawl under the kitchen table, as silly as this may sound to you now, you might have taught your children the same tactic.  It’s our first gut response that pops out when challenged.  And then our ability to reason steps in with an alternative.

There is an automatic response system set up inside of us that determines how we will react to stimuli.  This system is completely dependent on our life experiences. I remember a scene from the movie “Anne Franck” which I saw as a young child.  The horror of Anne’s existence affected me deeply and there is never a time when I hear the klaxon of a European Police Car that I don’t flash back in fear to that movie.  That’s my first reaction.  My reasoning ability then takes over and I remind myself that I am not in 1944 war-torn Europe.

When we became adults, we frequently found ourselves comparing our responses to our friends or co-workers, and sometimes we put ourselves down for our own, most natural reactions because they are different from others. They did not experience your life, nor did you experience theirs.  I believe the American Indians were most wise when they said “Walk a mile in my shoes.” Only by living your experience can any other begin to fathom what motivates you. Each of us is a wonderful individual and each of our stories is a tribute to that individuality. It is wise to honor the you that you have become.

Now that we are parenting children, we can teach our children the lessons we have learned.  It is okay to have our own responses.  There may be alternative behaviors that will work just as well.  No everyone who comments on our reactions has the complete story as we do, and we don’t have the complete story about others and why they react the way they do.  We can learn to take a view that is longer than just off the edge of our own noses!

We’ve all read that eyewitness testimony in legal matters cannot always be substantiated.  Why? Because everyone sees out of their own life experiences.  Watching television drama shows each of us how eyewitness testifying is jaded by the experiences of the individual.  Each of your young children will see an event differently as well.  There is great beauty in this individuality and it should be both honored and discussed. It’s perfectly acceptable for your child to react the way he does.  It’s completely acceptable for him to feel the way he does. Don’t question your child’s legitimacy in his reaction to an event. Each of our reactions – and there’s an unlimited potential for the quantity of different reactions – tells us and others who we are, someone to be respected.

If you use your own life experiences when parenting children, you will be enriching their lives in ways only YOU can do.