Thursday, Sep 30, 2010Positive Discipline for Toddler Children

No one likes to hear the word “No” in their lives, and toddler children least of all. Pre-school teachers are masterful at positive discipline and in finding ways to let children know what they CAN do vs. telling what they cannot do, and it seems to be most effective. You can be an enormous boost to your child’s self-esteem by learning and using these techniques when parenting toddlers. I hope you enjoy these examples.

Behavior: Hitting other children

Don’t Say: Don’t hit! No hitting.

Do Say: We use soft hands with our friends.

Behavior: Throwing hard objects at others

Don’t Say: Stop! Don’t throw!

Do Say: We take care of our friends. Ask Tommy what you can do to make him feel better.

Behavior: Talking too loudly or yelling indoors

Don’t Say: Hush up. Be quiet!

Do Say: Use your inside voice.

Behavior: Pushing or shoving

Don’t Say: Don’t push!

Do Say: We touch our friends gently and lovingly.

Behavior: Running indoors

Don’t Say: Quit running! No running!

Do Say: Use your walking feet indoors. Running feet are for outside.

Behavior: Biting

Don’t Say: No biting!

Do Say: That hurts. It’s not okay to bite.

Behavior: Playing with the TV or DVD player

Don’t Say: Stop touching.

Do Say: (Distract and remove) These are daddy’s. Let’s play with your toys.

Childproof your home. Remove temptation from a child’s inquisitive mind. This will lessen the times you’d be tempted to say “No.”

Set Ground Rules. Even toddlers understand “The toys all belong here when we’re done with them.” And you can show them how you expect the pets to be dealt with gently.

Encourage With Praise. Tell your child what you liked about what he or she has done. You can either describe what they did well, or simply offer a pat or a hug along with a “Thank You.”

Remove the Toddler. If a toddler won’t abide by your rules, you can remove him to his room or another area of the house and tell him why. “We don’t hit other children” They will protest, but just keep leading them back without another word and insist on compliance. Firmness and consistency is key when parenting toddlers.

Teach Consequences. When toddler children may not do ‘X’ offer them two alternatives: You may color in your coloring book while your sister naps or you may help mommy in the garage with the laundry. Whatever you offer, either choice should be okay with you.

This type of positive discipline is very effective but not always easy to do when parenting toddlers. Your toddler children can be exasperating, but they are also your greatest joy.

“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.” ~ Abraham J. Heschel

Discipline and concentration are a matter of being interested.” ~ Tom Kite