Monday, Nov 1, 2010Going With The Flow

In an attempt to become more productive and more successful, we work to exercise control over many areas in our lives. But there are some areas where we just cannot exercise any control and we need to accept change. It’s how we behave in these out-of-control situations that ultimately determine our success. We can act pent up, angry, frustrated or stressed out. Or, we can decide to just start going with the flow.

Lao Tzu, the mystic Chinese philosopher said: “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous  changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

Let’s imagine that you have been tasked to pick up your boss at the airport. You’ve been looking forward to the drive back to work to present some ideas. You’ve dressed well for the event, and you’ve got all your ideas lined up like ducks in a row. And then, there is a terrible car accident on the highway leading to the airport. You have no way of reaching your boss to tell him this. You think you will look like an idiot showing up late. You can sense how angry he will be. Your mind is running rampant with how awful this whole situation is.

What if you decide to just start going with the flow? You recognize you’ll have more time, so you use the time to make sure the points you want to make are succinct and pithy. You remember that you DO have his cell phone number (or the phone number of his secretary) so either of you can give him a heads up about the accident. You find a radio station with up to the minute traffic news so you are able to text this to him or his secretary.

What have you just done in going with the flow? You centered yourself. You captured fear and put a bridle on it. You focused on what was important in the environment you had been dealt and you made it work for you, as opposed to it flummoxing you. You’ve also exercised control.

It would be wise to recognize that you cannot exercise control over everything and that the things you cannot control DO happen. You can look back over many years worth of such out-of-control events and see that you made it past them successfully. This arms you to know that when they happen again, again you will handle them successfully.

Awareness of what you are thinking helps you relax and breathe more easily when you need to go with the flow. Become Self consciousness and know what you are thinking always.

Learn how to take a deep breath and laugh. “Doing the Lighten Up” helps de-stress when one of these out of control events happens. Taking a deep breath gives you time to gather yourself together and behave more maturely.

Learn to accept change. Change is the only thing in life that can be counted on. There will always be change, so get used to it. Love it. Savor it. Embrace it fully. Accept that due to infinity, no matter how good a thing is, it can always be improved upon.

Practice, practice, practice. You weren’t very good at walking some years back, but with practice, you now have good balance and stride. It’s the same with going with the flow. If you decide this will be your new modus operandi going forward, expect to be lousy at it initially and then expect improvement. Stay on track and you will learn to accept change and truly be “going with the flow”.