Thursday, Sep 1, 2011Lose the Bitter Feelings

You might be surprised to discover that not everything in my life has been successful, or happy, or as I expected.  Yes, that’s true.  I’ve made bad decisions, said things that hurt another’s feelings, lost money in ventures that did not succeed, had relationships that were not always happy. I’ve even had some bitter feelings.

Everyone has done this.  If I had chosen to stay focused on the things in my life that did not work, where would I be today? When you get to the end of an experience that did not work, right there is the pivotal point for your life:

Am I going to pout and feel badly, or will I shake the dust off, learn from my mistake, and take the next step forward?

It’s natural have bitter feelings when things go wrong. We set our hopes and expectations high.  We thought we knew just how things were going to work out, but somehow, someway, we took a wrong turn and they turned out just awful. We are embarrassed, angry, or disappointed when our expectations do not pan out. We indulge in feeling less-than.  I have learned that it isn’t wise to remain in that state of mind for very long or you’ll develop a deep-seated habit which will be challenging to release.

There is a perspective that I’ve learned that may help you when this negative experience happens to you.

Look for the lesson learned.

Each situation comes with a lesson.  You can learn from it, or you can develop bitter feelings.  I learned from it and I was able to take different turns, make different decisions, and become successful instead of becoming bitter. I like to think of those “mistakes” as lesson learned and stepping stones that turn me in an even better direction.  If you can permit those initial negative feelings to pass over the top of you, they will fade into nothingness and you will escape becoming bitter.  Bitter people develop victim mentalities who are stuck in their inability to do anything wisely and well except to nurture more bitterness.

Here’s what I’d recommend:  if bitter feelings show up, allow yourself to feel it, and then discard it and look for the lesson learned.  If you keep it and nurture it, nothing good can grow from such bitterness.

Goodness is your natural substance.  This is why pain and bitterness feel so awful:  they don’t belong in there.  It is wiser to acknowledge that it’s there, and then let go of it so that you don’t cut yourself off from all positive good with a hardened heart.  When you let go of the bitterness, you open your heart, your life, to more enjoyment, blessing, fulfillment and success; you allow the natural light and love to massage your soul.

Letting go of the bitter feelings can involve forgiveness and forgetting.  It’s always wise to remember that no one but you is harmed by your sense of bitterness, even if it’s directed at another, so why not let yourself heal and again celebrate the phenomenal life you deserve?

“Those who cannot work with their hearts achieve but a hollow, half-hearted success that breeds bitterness all around.” ~ Abdul Kalam