Tuesday, Apr 26, 2011Spice Up Your Relationship

My mind is happier when I have fresh new things to consider.  If you can spice up your relationship, it can be that new feeling all over again.

One of the ways that each of us feels just wonderful is being in a new relationship.  The sky is bluer; the sun is brighter; there is the hope and promise of good things to come.  We could stay up all night (and sometimes do) because we are filled with energy when we are involved in a new relationship.

But what happens when the relationship ends up in marriage, and the children come, and the workday keeps repeating itself, and we have shopping to do and bills to pay…… and… and… and…  We’ve all be down this road as well.  How can you spice up your relationship?

Do Something Unexpected. For no reason at all, buy your mate a card or send them one via email.  The internet has many free e-card websites.  Or, unexpectedly, just buy your mate a candy bar to put on their pillow at night – something you know they would love.  Or leave non-typical Post It notes in places they will find them unexpectedly – in their lunch bag; in the medicine cabinet; on their car windshield.  Tell them something nice you noticed about them.

Ask Them Out on a Date. How long has it been since you actually went out on a date as you once did when it was a new relationship?  Plan something marvelous and spring it as a surprise for your mate.  Perhaps pick them up from work for a lunch date.  Have the food ready and hop in the car for a quick, uninterrupted hour together as you once used to love to do.

Keep Track of the Good You See In Them. I once coached a couple to hang a sheet of paper in their room with two columns.  “He” was to write good things he noticed her doing over in her column, while “She” wrote good things she noticed about him.  It revolutionized their relationship because they had developed a habit of keeping track of only the things that irritated them, completely forgetting all the good things that attracted them to one another in the first place.

Make More Effort to Look Good for Your Partner. There are articles written in the 1940s about the so-called good housewife primping to prepare her appearance so that she looked good after a day’s work in the home and with the children because her husband was coming home.  Our social mores have changed a bit since then, but is it such a bad idea?  What a kind consideration to brush your teeth and have a sweet-smelling mouth to kiss him or her hello after a long day’s work?

Remember Important Dates. Make an effort to remember birthdays, anniversaries and the like.  It is a kind consideration that says “I love you and these dates are worth remembering because you are worth remembering.”  Women, especially, appreciate being remembered.

Enjoy Your Intimacy. Be sure you take time to enjoy your intimacy.  Keep it as important as the meals, the laundry, the job, etc. because it is important. Take the necessary steps for you to be “in the mood” and encourage your mate to take those steps too.  If you exercise showing affection, being complimentary, and allotting time, your relationship will stay as fresh as those early days.  You do recall them, right?

Be energetic about finding your own ways to spice up your relationship.  Talk about it with your mate.  What a joyful life you will experience and what a wonderful legacy to leave your children!

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!” ~  Robin Williams