Thursday, Dec 1, 2011The Love Hormones Before Marriage

“Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you’d be surprised at how many re-enlist.”

In the early part of our lives, almost everyone thinks that getting married someday would be so great.  Some of us still feel that way and some of us have changed our minds. The emotions surrounding marriage can run rampant and I thought that you folks who want a truly healthy relationship, might enjoy some wisdom based on the biological truths of love hormones that happen to you when you first enter into a loving relationship.

Your love hormones are excited to their maximum expression. You have no clue why you feel so euphoric, why sleep is seldom necessary, why you feel so complete when you’re near the one you love. First of all, let me tell you this:  as happy as those being-in-love feelings feel, (and they do feel just grand) they don’t last, so if you’re aware of what’s happening, and you want the loving relationship to last, you’ll be looking for the next stage after this initial one.

Serotonin gets released into your brain which is why you feel so euphoric.  And your brain itself pumps our dopamine which is involved in cravings like sugar, thirst, tobacco, or sleep. With those two at full bore, along comes oxytocin.  This hormone makes togetherness such a warm, snuggly idea.

How long can you sustain these three raging love hormones through your system?  Not too long.  It’s important you know what’s happening when it happens, and then, begin to look for deeper levels of compatibility.  How does he handle money?  Would she make a good mother?  Can he carry on a decent conversation with my friends?  Look for the things that truly matter to you so you can move into a stronger bond that will provide satisfying on a lifelong basis once the chemicals drain away….and they always do!

Crying isn’t just for sissies. Our emotions need channels of expression.  Tears is one of those channels.  Tears can express a ton of emotions: sorrow, elation, or just an eye inflammation.  Stress hormones and toxins are carried out of our systems by crying.

When we cry, our breathing and heart rate increases from the surge of emotions. Crying helps to process grief; they purify stress. Crying also stimulates the production of endorphins, the feel-good hormone.

I have a friend who cries at parades.  Whenever she sees military personnel who’ve done their duty for their country, or whenever those big bass drums march by, she spills over with tears.  These are tears of immense joy.  She also spilled over at her kid’s school performances.  Again, joy.

In a loving relationship, when he pops the will-you-marry-me question, it would not be inappropriate to cry. You just experienced an overwhelming, dreamed-of experience.  Crying is a great way to express those feelings of great joy.

The Secret About Men: They Need A Confidant. Ladies, you know how important your girlfriends are to you.  You share confidences with them.  You do it as naturally as a waterfall falling off a cliff. Men don’t have it this easy, but they need to share confidences as well, so marriage becomes a strong pull for them. The RAND Center for the Study of Aging  have proven that a good, healthy marriage promotes longevity.

It’s possible that less-risky behavior follows marriage.  When a married couple develops and works on mutual long-term goals, there isn’t much time for fooling around.

Relationships, in general, take pointed consideration.  You will grow fabulously in a relationship.  It’s one of the very best ways to unfold a bettered concept of your self.  Be happy and enjoy the love hormones!

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” ~ Pearl S. Buck